If you’re working on a peacebuilding project at the local level, chances are that you’re going to work with a traditional leader.

Contrary to the notion that traditional leaders harken from bygone eras, traditional leaders are integral to a functioning society in many parts of the world. They show up in different forms, from chiefs and elders to princes and queens, wielding power—a nexus of political, social, and economic authority—that often predates the modern nation-state (hence the “traditional” part). These customary rulers not only exercise a blend of legislative, executive, and judicial faculty, but they also provide social guidance on issues like marriage, family disputes, and local economic enterprises.

Given the incredible influence they wield over local communities, especially in rural areas, traditional leaders are often the hallmark of successful community peacebuilding and development projects (Ghana is a great example). However, peacebuilders coming from societies with little or no presence of traditional authority can sometimes struggle to understand and work with customary leaders. To help out, I compiled this handy guide with my friend and project partner Kgosi (Chief) Prinsloo Shashe to ease the process along!

1. Know the Culture– Before you walk into your first meeting with a traditional leader, get a run-down on the local customs and protocol. Learn greetings in the local language. Understand expectations along the lines of gender and age: do men need to remove their hats? Do youth stand in the presence of their elders?

Subconscious behavior might get you confusion at best and rejection at worst. Subtleties matter here: in western Cameroon, crossing your legs in front of an elder is considered to be disrespectful. In Afghanistan, shaking hands while wearing gloves is a no-go. Accepting a gift with your left hand in many parts of the Middle East and West Africa will not win you any friends.

Sometimes, customary leaders will dismiss a faux-pas since you’re a foreigner, but you’re still setting out with a deficit. A chief once gave me the following advice: “If a woman comes into the community hall wearing trousers, I won’t punish her or get upset. But I will take her less seriously because she’s not taking care to respect our customs.”

2. Rock Your Humility– When I ask traditional leaders to name the surefire way to forge a strong partnership with customary institutions, they all say the same thing: “Humble yourself.” It makes sense: structured hierarchy is a common characteristic of traditional leadership. If you examine local customs surrounding chiefs and elders, you will find that most of them pertain to communicating respect and deference.

Demonstrating humility is best done with a combination of verbal communication and nonverbal gestures. Tell the chief “I am so honored to sit in your audience” with a grateful tone of voice and a pleasant smile. Simultaneously communicate cross-cultural understanding and respect by adopt culturally appropriate nonverbal communication, whether it’s bowing slightly, avoiding eye contact, or kneeling in front of the elder.

No matter how you demonstrate humility, be genuine. You’re not just there to kiss someone’s feet. Remember that the person in front of you is a co-creator of change. She will play a valuable role in your project and chances are, she’s rooting for you to succeed.

3. Listen– Active listening is one of those “anytime, anywhere” skills. When engaging traditional leaders, it’s a necessity. Listen with an open heart and an open mind. Don’t interrupt, don’t presume, and don’t aggressively contradict. Of course, you will have ideas and opinions that may differ with that of the chief. But rock your humility, as per point #2, and you can enjoy a spirited, engaging conversation without stepping on any toes.

This isn’t just about manners. Chiefs and elders have valuable insight about their communities and their people. Traditional leaders are great barometers for innovation by letting you know if they think a new idea will succeed or not. They are also advantageous consultants in project design. Many traditional leaders have served their communities for a long time, and they will have a plethora of proposals for peacebuilding projects. Active listening helps draw out some brilliant ideas that may have never occurred to you.

A quick anecdote: During my time with the Cameroonian peacebuilding organization Global Conscience Initiative, I conducted arbitration and governance trainings in the rural village of Mofako Bekondo. Within the first few consultative meetings, I developed a strong rapport with the local chief. During one of our visits, he told me that he wanted to prioritize elevating women to the male-dominated Traditional Council. Over the next four months, one of my most successful projects was the Gender Equality Initiative, which developed female political participation in the village. At my going-away ceremony, the chief said to me, “Thank you so much for listening to me. That made the difference”

4. Understand the Relationship Between Visitor and Chief– In many countries, a quid pro quo relationship exists between customary leaders and visitors: if you come to my territory and show me the proper deference according to my customs, I will treat you like an honored visitor.

To enjoy the benefits of this relationship, introduce yourself to traditional authorities as soon as possible. In some places, this must be done by formally delivering a letter of introduction. In other countries, this means paying a courtesy visit to a council of elders. Either way, introducing yourself as an outsider and requesting the chief’s benedictions helps you both communicate respect and receive it. After you’ve made the appropriate overtures, the customary leader can grant you permission to work in his or her community, advocate for your project amongst influential locals, and even personally mobilize participation amongst the people.

5. Maximize Interconnectivity– Developing strong interpersonal connections with traditional leaders can be a game changer. If you are working as a foreigner in an area that has seen many expats stream through town, standing out from the crowd can be tough. Conversely, if you are the first of your kind, surmounting cultural, national, racial, and linguistic barriers may prove to be difficult.

Developing personal rapport comes down to exposing yourself as a person. Talk about your family. Ask about the local history. Make jokes. Find common interests. This all requires you to make an effort beyond official visits and project meetings, whether it’s dropping into her office for a chat or getting involved in local social functions.

6. Engage Customary Leaders as Partners, Not Just Consultants– In Botswana, it’s a well-known fact that before you begin a project, you consult the chief. But customary leaders are not the human equivalent of a rubber stamp. They have a wealth of knowledge, connections, and legitimacy that can push your project forward if you actively involve them. Moreover, they have considerable skills in organization and mobilization that can be a huge asset to your initiative.

Engaging customary leaders as partners doesn’t always happen overnight. Sometimes you need to show rather than tell, especially if you intend on involving them as project beneficiaries. Invite the chief to a training as an observer. After the training concludes, ask him, “Would you and other local leaders like to participate in the same training? Would this help you?” It takes patience to develop buy-in, but it’s always worth it.

The bottom line is that most traditional leaders care about building peace in their localities. Your projects will benefit them as well as their people. Using the correct engagement techniques will help you achieve your objectives and realize long-term impact from your initiative.